Sunday, 17 October 2010

Knight and Day review

Knight and Day

Knight and Day's imdb:

Well, in terms of actors/actresses I don't think the two main stars need any introductions, it's the worlds favourite walking and waving midget, Tom Cruise as a “suave”, well as suave as a height restricted Scientologist can get (Protip: not very).

Wait, don't go yet! He has a sidekick in this film, and stop the presses, it's a woman, and a blonde woman at that! Straight away you can tell that this film is full of originality, oh Hollywood, how you continue to surprise me with your incredible mediocrity. However, the director might need a small introduction, not to say he hasn't been around for a while, but he ain't no Spielberg. He's James Mangold, from 'Walk the Line' and '3.10 to Yuma' fame, now, I do have to say I particularly loved Walk the Line, but that was probably because it was about Johnny Cash, and it features the absolutely best named person in all of history, Joaquin Phoenix . I've never seen '3.10 to Yuma' but I've heard some good things, I guess he's had some good titles under his belt, but to be frank, this one is more than likely his most mainstream one to date, I mean you don't get more mainstream than Tom frickin Cruise do ya?

I guess this is a classic tale of a woman and a man bump into each other in an airport and they just so happen to be on the same flight, and when they get on that flight they just so happen to be sitting close to each other. Inevitable flirting and drinks follow, until Tom Cruise or, the incredibly hillbilly sounding Roy Miller to give him his characters name, whips out his gun and caps some guys in the face. Now why does Roy go and do that? After all he is the good guy....or is he? That's what the film is about, guessing if Roy is good or bad, which within the first twenty seconds you could've guessed, besides, when would Hollywood cast an american as a bad guy? I thought it was in the job description that they had to be English or at a stretch German.


Sitting down to write this review it was like sitting down to eat a sunday roast, “Where to start? It all looks so good!” it's like that....but in no way at all. I know exactly where to start and that is by slagging off Cruise and Diaz.

Why the hell would you choose these two to act off with each other? Especially Diaz, she isn't exactly prime property anymore, why do you think her last work was a voice-over and not just any voice-over but one for an ugly green ogre, she looks like a half dried out raisin that someone tried to electrocute just so she would stay alive.
Diaz has passed it now, lets just face the fact, this is probably her last hurrah/cash in now that Shrek has bit the dust. Diaz's practically dead face ruins the entire movie, on multiple occasions I was actually drawn out of the viewing experience just to stare at the her jowls and surprisingly strong neck vein things . A once bright and attractive celebrity has fallen prey once again, her face is full of plastic it's hard to tell what emotion she's trying to portray, it's difficult to distinguish whether or not she's going to cry or have a massive dump.

But this is a typical american summer blockbuster, I mean I shouldn't expect more than a 90+ minute mix of guns, explosions and A list celebs. That however is besides the point, especially when Knight and Day tries to be more that what it is, it tries to have the timeless power of James Bond. Which it achieves on no level whatsoever, it's more bland than Bond. It constantly tries to connect with the viewer on an emotional level, but once again fails every time, I mean it's not hard to have some sad piano music play whilst  someone harps on about how sad her life is, that's how you make you make a viewer feel emotional about the characters on screen. Knight and Day fails to even do this, partly because you can't exactly feel sorry for a raisin, and mainly because it's a weak script. You never really care what's being said and can predict what they are going to say before they've said it, it's generic, it's boring and it's full of itself. I guess because the characters are, they are both full of self importance and arrogance. It just seems that Roy and June (Diaz) are just two poor characters, they don't have any charm it's all guns and glory - no emotion.

I guess there is a couple of good things about the film however, mainly the action, well choreographed and with the pumping music you might even sit forward on the edge of your seat, unfortunately it's to see yet another generic bad guy get shot by the impeccable aim of Roy and no hint of real danger for any of the characters. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that your average twelve year old will love all the cars, explosions and mild peril.

Don't be fooled, this is a summer blockbuster in every sense of the word. It's like a summer fling, it's there to entertain you because you've got six long weeks off, but I guess it does it well, I was genuinely entertained for the last 25 minutes or so, but that doesn't exactly make up for the first 90 minutes of boredom and dry dialogue. This film is a summer fling in the way that you'll watch it and then forget about it sooner or later, so when you walk past it in the supermarket and it calls out your name it all ends up with you having forgotten it's name and then there's 10 minutes of the most awkward of embarrassing silences and what do you get from it in the end? A slap in the face and hate mail from the producers of Knight and Day.*

*Note, that analogy might have been lost somewhere in the shuffle, I don't know whether it makes sense or I'm just drawing on past experiences.

Leave a comment below to let me know what film you want me to review next week, the one with the most votes by Thursday the 21st will be the winner.


  1. terrible movie! didnt like it either

  2. Meh, it wasn't the worst movie my girlfriend could've dragged me to. You're right in calling it a typical summer blockbuster, for sure. At least people got shot.

  3. thanks for the review i wont look it :P

  4. Dude, I absolutely hated that movie, took some random chick with me, glad we fooled around that was way better than watching the movie.

  5. Wasn't too interested in this movie to begin with now my mind has totally been made up.. Thank you.

  6. Four Lions :) I want you to review it, would be awesome to read

  7. Good review, haven't had chance to see the movie yet but will when I get chance

  8. Okay, one for 'Four Lions', which I have been meaning to get around to watching and one for 'The Room'. Who's going to make the deciding vote for either film? (Or a new one, deadline closes tommorrow!)

  9. I wasn't a fan of this movie, but Cameron kept my interests :)

  10. That's what I expected from the previews.

  11. was a decent film, my lass made me watch it.

  12. Didn't look to great in the trailers, but I checked it out and wasn't AS bad as I thought it would be. Great review though!